Husher315
""My Bloody Valentine" ♥'s Blu-ray"
Because liking a movie doesn't make it suck less.
Gives those who already hate remakes more ammo to keep blasting.
-
Sep 29, 2011
- by Madpenguin
- posted in Movie Hype
Rating:
In the town of Harmony, Tom Hannigan (Jensen Ackles) was responsible for a mining accident that took place which left several men buried. Harry Warden (Richard John Walters) was the only one to survive the ordeal, by killing the other workers for their oxygen. He then fell into a coma for a year. When he finally awakened, he went back to the scene of the accident armed with a pickaxe, dressed in miners garments, and began killing teens who were at the site partying. Tom barely survived the encounter. Ten years have passed after Harry's possible death. Tom returns to the town after a ten year absence, and the killings begin once again.-summary
+2
Before I begin, I would like to point out somethings. My Bloody Valentine 3D is a remake of the 1981 original, but I will be completely unbiased here. I am in no way the type of viewer who would trash a film simply because it's a remake. I find that mentality to be a bit too narrow minded. I give everything a fair shot, but it's no secret that horror remakes have a notorious reputation for being truly bad films. There are a couple of exceptions such as Invasion of the Body Snatchers(1978) & The Fly(1986) but sad to say, My Bloody Valentine 3D is most definitely not one of them.
I try my best not to make comparisons with originals. But, this film clearly desecrates the original because the writers either didn't understand it, or they just weren't thinking. My Bloody Valentine 3D was clearly tossed together with intentions to ride the coattails of the original as with all remakes. The problem is the writers clearly spent 101 minutes completely missing the point, and ruined what the original set out to achieve.
There is actually a point to the name that is imperative to the movies story and plot, which of course, involves the killers motive. In the original, the killer attacked on Valentines Day because his accident was due to neglect, his superiors wanted to attend the Valentine's Day dance. Therefore, he responded by killing them, stuffing their hearts into Valentine chocolate boxes, and warned them to never hold another Valentine's Day dance. When the town attempted to have another dance, the murders began again and followed the same pattern. So in regards to the original, the title makes perfect sense.
In this film, the killer did attack on Valentine's Day. However, it could have been out of revenge or insanity. When the killings took place again, and the killers motive was revealed. I wondered what was the point. To me, the killings had very little to do with Valentine's Day and this film could have been called "Slaughter on Good Friday" and I doubt the script would have changed much. The hearts being stuffed in the boxes this time around was clearly for shock value. It had very little to do with the story in my view. This is actually my biggest problem with the film. I need my stories to make complete sense. Unfortunately, this story makes absolutely no sense.
My Bloody Valentine doesn't have the best acting, it really isn't atmospheric, it's nowhere near scary, but it sure knows how to be brutal. The death scenes are sick. The killer gets pretty damn creative with that pickaxe. I'll be lying if I said I didn't get a kick out of some of those deaths. The kills were very predictable; I knew exactly when each and every one of them were about to happen, but I couldn't wait to see how it was going to happen. The death scenes could have been so much more effective if it wasn't for the CGI. They came off phony looking and I couldn't take it too serious.
Despite the flaws concerning the identity and crappy CGI. I was mildly enjoying this film until the end, but after the killer's identity is revealed; the ending takes the biggest dive in recent memory. This is a slasher film, and I should have never felt like I was watching an action packed thriller. The horror clearly clashed with the explosive action. If there is one thing I can't stand is a movie with an identity crisis.
My Bloody Valentine 3D is a bad film, and I refuse to see it as anything but that. The slasher is my favorite horror sub genre, but I prefer to have some substance with style, stories that make some sense, and completely knows what it wants to be. This film delivers on the gore and nudity, and that's about it. However, I need more than that.
On a side note, hardly ever do I review extras or special features. I do it only when really called for. The 3D version of this film is atrocious; it's done in some type of green, mixed with pinkish color. It's just so horrendous and the glasses really don't enhance the viewing experience at all. The DVD comes with four pairs of glasses. I tried to watch it with three others, and there was virtually no way to get more than five minutes into the film. It is very hard on the eyes. The 3D feature is truly a rotten experience, to include, the packaging is horrible too. I know of several to open up their case, and find the disk scratched to oblivion because the glasses were dancing inside like crazy. Mine was fine, but I'm mentioning this as a heads up. Also, the awful 3D feature has nothing to do with my rating.
Pros:
-Mild suspense, lots of mayhem and gore
Cons:
-Too formulaic and predictable, annoying CGI, writers completely missed the point
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woopak_the_thrill
October 04, 2011
This was...well fun on 3D. But otherwise the plot was a dreck.
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FM_ALEX
October 01, 2011
Yeah man this was not the best remake ever, it was a bit of a let down, at least the death scenes were good.
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I've gotten a bit soft on remakes over the years, especially when it comes to horror film remakes. While there are many films that one can be argue should never be remade (Casablanca and Willy Wonka and the Chocolate Factory come to mind), there are a lot of films out there that had good premises or even screenplays, but suffered from minuscule budgets or shoddy productions values. Many of the films we consider "classic" usually obtain that exalted status … more
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review by Dramaphile.
July 12, 2009
A good slasher film should be like a roller coaster ride: It has thrills, chills, makes you feel a little sick, and leaves you with a giddy exhilaration that's half adrenaline rush, half eagerness to do it all over again. I think My Bloody Valentine 3D had all of these traits, and was genuinely entertaining. I'll admit, I didn't expect much going into the movie theater. I'm a big fan of Jensen Ackles, from both Dark Angel and Supernatural, and I love a good (or … more
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review by Husher315.
July 12, 2009
With a movie like My Bloody Valentine, you don't go into watching it with high hopes and I didn't. The only reason that I actually own this movie...yes I own it, is because I bought it for my fiance who loved it and also loves Jensen Ackles. What ends up happening though is that I actually end up enjoying the movie. Sure, it's not the best horror flick you're ever going to see, and it's not even that scary, but what you're left with is a pretty decent slasher film that leaves … more
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Compliments (24)
About the reviewer
Madpenguin
Reviews arebroken down into categories and the review count is updated monthly. [Last Update 5-3-12] Recently updated: American Animation, Wrestling, DS, GBA, SNES, and Genesis games … more
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About this movie
My Bloody Valentine is a remake of a 1981 film directed by George Mihalka. The remake is directed by Patrick Lussier and stars Jensen Ackles. My Bloody Valentine is also a 3D film, but was also shown in 2D in theaters that didn't support 3D. It was released on January 16th 2009 and the DVD and Blu-ray were released on May 19th 2009.
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Genre:
Horror
Release Date:
January 16th 2009
MPAA Rating:
R
DVD Release Date:
May 19th 2009
Runtime:
101 Minutes
Studio:
Lionsgate Films
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